Don’t get us wrong, we really liked Zack Snyder’s Justice League. Yes, it was a little long and self-indulgent, but it was nevertheless a vast improvement over the mangled mishmash we got back in 2017. So much so that we felt the movie actually made a strong case for Warner Bros. to #RestoreTheSnyderVerse. (You can listen to all of our thoughts on last week’s episode of The Goggler Podcast.)
At a whopping four hours and two minutes, this movie was a rare example in which the audience got to witness a director’s vision, wholly and without compromise, warts and all. But at a whopping four hours and two minutes, you can best believe that Zack Snyder killed none of his darlings. And some of them were real stinkers. Here are just five.
1. Why is the Joker in Zack Snyder’s Justice League?
Let’s start with the most self-indulgent moment shall we.
In our Ending Explained article we were perplexed as to why the Joker was even in this. That brief scene between Batman and the Joker, which was a last minute addition to the reshoots that took place last year, does nothing but add a whole bunch of pointless narrative baggage to the movie. It was nothing more than fanwank. An excuse to name drop Robin and Harley Quinn. A justification to have Batman drop an F-bomb.
We understand that the epilogue of Zack Snyder’s Justice League exists to set up a series of sequels that will likely never happen. And while the rest of that scene at least follows on from what Snyder hinted at in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, absolutely nothing with the Joker was earned.
As for why it’s self indulgent? Well, Snyder says so himself:
2. Wonder Woman Straight Up Murders Those Terrorists
About 25 minutes into Zack Snyder’s Justice League, Wonder Woman takes on a group of suicidal terrorists who are looking to blow up a building that’s filled with school children. She bursts into the room, moves at lightning speed, busts their heads open against the walls, before grabbing the bomb, leaps through the roof, and throws it into the air where it explodes a safe distance away from everyone. She then takes on the last remaining terrorist, using her signature move of smashing her Bracelets of Submission together and create a powerful wave of energy that essentially vaporizes him.
There is a similar scene in the Whedon cut, but it is nowhere near as violent.
Here, Snyder and his team approached the scene as “if there was no ratings board.” Their philosophy was to execute it in the way they thought was “the coolest.” (This, for better and for worse, seems to be the driving philosophy behind most of the movie.) He told Variety that one reason the movie is so violent is to realistically demonstrate what it would be like to actually face off against these gods among men. He said:
“I always feel that the consequence is important to me, that there’s real stakes. It still is abstract, you know. These are gods fighting men. Which is also part of the point. We can’t really fight them. Humans can’t really fight them.”
Now, we understand Zack Snyder’s justification, even if we don’t necessarily agree with it. Consequences are important. And while it’s true that watering down violence can sometimes undermine the stakes in a movie, the use of violence must always remain true to the character and his or her motivations.
The problem we have with the way this scene plays out in Zack Snyder’s Justice League isn’t with how violent it is, but rather with just how tone deaf it feels. Yes, Wonder Woman is a god, but she is also a superhero. She realizes the extent of her abilities, and knows the true power of her bracelets. (She used it against Doomsday and Ares remember?) At no time during that terrorist attack was Wonder Woman ever at a disadvantage. At no time did she lose control over the situation. Which is why her actions seem like such a gross overreaction.
There is good reason why Superman and Wonder Woman pull their punches in the comics. They know exactly what would happen if they didn’t. It’s what separates them from the villains who don’t.
What’s more, everything that happens in that scene feels completely out of step with how Wonder Woman was depicted in both 2017’s Wonder Woman and last year’s Wonder Woman 1984. Hell, in WW84, she even forsakes violence during the climax of the movie in order to bore Maxwell Lord – and us – into submission with a monologue.
Actions should have consequences. Violence should have repercussions. But in this moment, Snyder once again sacrifices character, behavior, and motivation at the altar of cool.
3. The Humans Did WHAT with Their Mother Box?
So the Themyscirans and Atlanteans build secure storage facilities that are guarded by their best soldiers, by women and men who will bow to no evil, and will never give up their respective Mother Boxes at any cost. And what do we humans do? We go into the forrest and bury it in a hole!
Seriously?
And it’s not even that deep a hole!
We’re surprised some kids foraging for food didn’t dig it up and accidentally end the world.
Listen, here’s how you hide something in the forest so no one will find it. You take a skeleton crew of your most trusted followers to the farthest, darkest part of the woods. (Some place you’re sure won’t be the site of a mixed-use development in two hundred years.) Dig a hole so deep you swear you’re almost at the other side. Bury the box. Kill your followers. And then kill yourself.
4. Flash Saves Iris
Now the function of this scene is clear. It is to demonstrate that Barry is someone who is already in full control of his powers. He knows what he’s doing. He is a hero. This is why Bruce Wayne sought him out to be a part of his Justice League. It has a reason for being.
But why did it have to be so damn long? Was there any need for a slo-mo close up of a sesame seed? And did it have to be Iris West?
In fact, the only reason we know that it’s Iris is because we see her name in the credits. She doesn’t introduce herself. We have no idea if Barry knows who she is. And apart from a fleeting “love at first sight” glance between the both of them, her inclusion in this movie serves no real purpose whatsoever. Was it meant to set her up for the standalone Flash movie? And if so, wouldn’t it have been better to actually give her more of a part than just be the silent damsel in distress?
But you know what? It was “cool.”
5. Martha and Lois Have a Heart-to-Heart
We were willing to look past the fact that Zack Snyder couldn’t find anything substantial for Lois Lane to do in his 242 minute magnum opus. (Spoiler: She mopes around for pretty much most of it.) Especially since 2 hours and 16 minutes into the movie, we get this wonderfully quiet scene between Martha Kent and Lois Lane, in which she convinces her daugther-in-law to be to “come back to the living” and rejoin the world.
In a movie that is otherwise devoid of feeling, these three brief minutes provide some much needed heart. Seeing the two most important women in Clark’s life coming to terms with his death, and commiserating in a way that only they can, was both moving and powerful. It was a real character moment. One that was undermined by the reveal that it wasn’t Martha Kent but in fact The Martian Manhunter all along.
Besides diminishing the emotion of what just happened, introducing this character, in this way, does absolutely nothing for the narrative. How does J’onn J’onzz know so much about Martha and Lois? Why does he care if Lois stops sulking? Does he know that the Justice League are planning to revive Superman? Does he think that talking to her at this moment would lead her to go out, buy some coffee, go back to the site of the memorial, so she could be in the right place just as a revived, but out of control, Superman shows up and tries to kill Batman?
In fact, this reveal served no purpose other than to tell the audience: “Hey, look! The Martian Manhunter is in this movie too!”
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